LOCK 'EM UP AND THROW AWAY THE KEATS

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BAD TRACK RECORDS!

Sarcastic, facetious and downright vicious lyrics, satire, parody and irreverent comment, tosh, twaddle and opinionated verbiage from the townships of East Sussex by artistic layabout Colin Bailey

SARCASTIC, FACETIOUS AND VICIOUS LYRICS, SATIRE, PARODY AND IRREVERENT COMMENT, TOSH, TWADDLE AND OPINIONATED VERBIAGE FROM THE TOWNSHIPS OF EAST SUSSEX BY ARTISTIC LAYABOUT COLIN BAILEY

LOCK EM UP AND THROW AWAY THE KEATS

He’s mean he’s tough he’s ’orrible, he’s gritty and he’s hard

His demeanour could not be meaner he’s a bad-ass jailhouse bard

He’ll climb through the window leave poetry on the floor

Scribble Sonnets across the ceiling and scratch prose across the door

So if you find yourself hauled up before the courts

Remember rhyme and remember rhythm

Use words to keep the sentence short

And you won’t spend much time in prison!

The felt tip pen is mightier than the Uzi is his creed

He’s worded up for action as he plans those evil deeds

He takes a toke of Tennyson and snorts a line of Byron

He’s the Wordsworth of Wandsworth; He’s away before the sirens

The Cops cannot accost him, his victims can only curse

He’s a stanza extravaganza as he goes from bad to verse

He does it for the money, he’s no quick-kicks amateur

And if he’s going to sin, its in – iambic pentameter

POETIC JUSTICE AS FREED CRIMINAL WRITES ODE TO JUDGES

Mark Patterson, 42, a drug addict with 51 convictions dating back to when he was 11, was controversially allowed to pursue a "life of verse" rather than being sent to jail after pleading guilty to breaking into a neighbour's home armed with a meat cleaver.

Judge Simon Goldstein gave him an 18-month drug treatment order instead at the Old Bailey, telling him he should have the chance to succeed with his "undoubted talent for writing poetry".

When asked to comment by The Telegraph on his good fortune, Patterson, of Deptford, south London, said it was "amazing".