BAD TRACK RECORDS!
Sarcastic, facetious and downright vicious lyrics, satire, parody and irreverent comment, tosh, twaddle and opinionated verbiage from the townships of East Sussex by artistic layabout Colin Bailey
SARCASTIC, FACETIOUS AND VICIOUS LYRICS, SATIRE, PARODY AND IRREVERENT COMMENT, TOSH, TWADDLE AND OPINIONATED VERBIAGE FROM THE TOWNSHIPS OF EAST SUSSEX BY ARTISTIC LAYABOUT COLIN BAILEY
BROKEN NEWS:
SONG PARODIES
Golden Brown -
Good Riddance -
The Girl from Ipanema
Times they are a changing -
These foolish things
DON’T TRY AND GIVE ME THE WATCHTOWER
All Along the Watchtower -
Hurricane -
All Day and All of the Night -
THE FIRST MUTT IS THE CHEAPEST
First cut is the deepest -
Da do Ron Ron
LYRICS
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A SPOONFUL FROM NANNY
As storms lash Britain and the usual grim faced newsreaders catalogue the terrible disruption to traffic alongside the obligatory car crushed by tree photograph, the Environment Agency has warned people to stay away from the coast!
As fatuous government warnings go this is pretty innocuous and not perhaps as immediately chuckle inducing as last year's Police warning for us all to reduce crime by staying away from bad people or the notorious NHS's "Just say NO to disease!".
Last year saw government spending on Public service announcements, officious bumf and general nanny state hectoring reaching record levels with one Department of Officious Announcements (DOA) spokesman proudly proclaiming "it is now impossible in Britain to be more than 893.7mm away from a notice, sign or warning telling you to not do something, do something, or what unspeakably nasty things will happen to you if you persist in ignoring whatever it was the last warning warned you about." And any way "IT’S THE LAW!" he added smugly.
Back in the golden days the traditional English pub was reassuringly bereft of wall
based literature. The nicotine coated walls provided a natural defence against the
adhesive qualities of all but the most tenacious felt tip penned event "poster".
Even this stronghold of free will has now been swamped by "sensible drinking" posters,
No Smoking signs and public health pronouncements. Pub toilets (hardly the British
library) have blossomed from the simple -
Everything purchased in Britain now tells you what is in it, what isn't in it and why you shouldn't have bought it in the first place.
One common feature of all this omnipresent worthiness is the gratingly complacent style, the first year graphic design student layout and the way it preaches the obvious in such a self righteously trite manner. Unlike the glossy commercial ads which fight for our attention against each other, rules regulations, guidelines and tight budgets and have to constantly be on the cutting edge of creativity, this sanctimonious government sponsored medicine is waved through just about every creative checkpoint and is given pride of place on our walls, TVs and products.
Like some smug, know-
NANNY STATE MARCH 2008