BAD TRACK RECORDS!
Sarcastic, facetious and downright vicious lyrics, satire, parody and irreverent comment, tosh, twaddle and opinionated verbiage from the townships of East Sussex by artistic layabout Colin Bailey
SARCASTIC, FACETIOUS AND VICIOUS LYRICS, SATIRE, PARODY AND IRREVERENT COMMENT, TOSH, TWADDLE AND OPINIONATED VERBIAGE FROM THE TOWNSHIPS OF EAST SUSSEX BY ARTISTIC LAYABOUT COLIN BAILEY
BROKEN NEWS:
SONG PARODIES
Golden Brown -
Good Riddance -
The Girl from Ipanema
Times they are a changing -
These foolish things
DON’T TRY AND GIVE ME THE WATCHTOWER
All Along the Watchtower -
Hurricane -
All Day and All of the Night -
THE FIRST MUTT IS THE CHEAPEST
First cut is the deepest -
Da do Ron Ron
LYRICS
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The British economy is likewise watched the world over and regulated by the adding and taking away of pennies. Once a year the press gets into a lather of speculation and the public into a stupor of indifference whilst those MPs not too inebriated to leave the duty free commons bar trundle into the chamber with all the exuberance of a gang of stockbrokers visiting a strip club.
The Budget is presented by the Chancellor of the day live on national television with all the gimmicks and showmanship he can muster. The MPs harrumph and guffaw appropriately, the heavyweights of the government squeeze in around him cosily and a jolly old time is had by all.
It is of course a total sham. The Chancellor is picked for his malleability and "Brown nosing" capabilities and has as little knowledge of how the economy actually works as a sea cucumber does of quantum physics. The average MP doesn't know his GDP from his RPI and the whole thing is cobbled together from stolen school maths exam papers and whatever can be retrieved from the hard drives of rusty old Civil Service computers after the vice squad have finished with them.
The penny slapped on a pint of beer and the penny "slashed!" from the litre of petrol
will make the next day's tabloid headlines and the obscure, barely mumbled "reform"
of XYZ duty that will actually crap all over the average person's disposable income
will not be discovered or unscrambled until the weekend Budget Special pull-
The whole event is really just a chance for those who can be bothered, to watch their local MPs reacting in the glow of publicity radiating around the Chancellor; raising a querulous eyebrow, frowning speculatively, looking outraged and generally hamming it up whenever a camera comes in range. This is in stark contrast to everyday parliament "live" on television which consists usually of some obscure geriatric backbencher droning away interminably surrounded by a "doughnut" of wannabes, the remaining half a dozen MPs sleeping off last nights excesses on the plush green benches.
The Budget is like a cut-
BUDGET JUST A WINDUP!
An icon of Britain and probably the most famous timepiece in the world, Big Ben towers over that infinitely less reliable institution and seat of British Government, the Houses of Parliament. Famously regulated by the adding or taking away of pennies to its mechanism Big Ben is used all over the world as a symbol for marking the new year.
THE BUDGET MARCH 2008